How to understand what you want in life. Choose a profession worthy of you that you want to Run on your last legs or Fill tanks in time

A happy person is distinguished by the presence of a healthy appetite for life. He is pleased with the process itself. If you look closely, it will be easy to see a recipe that unites all such people: 1) they know exactly what they want and 2) they get it. How to understand what I really want?

I remember that day, about a year ago, when I suddenly clearly realized that the transformation that I had been striving for so long had entered my life. Despite the fact that there were still many unresolved tasks and questions, there were doubts, fears and other companions of any changes - but one change nevertheless happened irrevocably: i knew exactly what I wanted.  Moreover, in all spheres of life and at different periods of time.

Wake me up in the middle of the night, demanding to list what is interesting to me in this life - I would blur out without a shadow of a doubt where I’m going. And with a fair amount of specificity. Offer me to change these goals to others, no less attractive, I would refuse, because my scope already gives me enough space to spread my wings. Turn around my life before the choice - beloved person or these goals, I would choose the second. Since true love does not set such a condition, and everything else is a fake of dreams on the topic of saving love, which will make you happy for life and eliminate the need to act. And for this illusion there is no longer any place in my life.

This interesting feeling is to know what you want and where you are going, because it does not cancel the freedom of choice and the opportunity to change your mind, but you know that your choice is made.

Absolute freedom does not exist, but there is freedom to make a decision, and after that you are bound by your choice.

P. Coelho, Zaire

To bind yourself with such a choice is a truly wise step, since it is concentration on a single vector that helps to go through stage by stage and feel the rhythm of life, giving rise to the joy of conscious forward movement. Including this is the only way to have what you want for those who are not afraid to dream big.

Simply described, the picture looks like this:

- To be inspired from movement to your desires, they must be big - that is, to have a scope for the flight of your soul. Global goals give rise to the belief that our capabilities are much wider, thereby uncovering our internal potential and giving a surge of strength.

- It takes time to reach big goals.during which you will move in the selected direction without changing direction. Only a long movement in one direction can give a tangible result. You have the right to change your goal, change your mind, choose another - please. The divine right of free choice is always with you, as well as the law of cause and effect: each time you start another, you start a new path, and you also need to stay on it for a long time without changing the sharpness of focus.

In order not to succumb to the temptation of choice and not to change your direction, you need to determine exactly what you want. Therefore, it is reasonable at a certain moment in life to decide for themselves: “who am I?” And “where are I going?”. Otherwise, people often change their minds, try many directions at once, really do not succeed anywhere and generally refuse any attempts, thereby starting a smooth descent down the stairs of their prospects.

If you are ready, you do not need to prepare.

When you decide on a direction, it is easier to deal with doubts and tempting opportunities. It’s easier not to be distracted from the essence and keep focus on one thing. When this choice has not yet been made to the end and you continue to wait for a miracle (they say, somehow everything will turn out by itself), then you swim where the wind will blow. I think none of us would like to be on an uncontrolled ship in the ocean or on a boat sailing in a fast current without oars. So why do so many people like this dangerous approach: “to go with the flow of life without any goals”, is it not obvious that it carries stones of helpless old age?

Now Moscow is hosting the World Championships in Athletics - how interesting it is to watch some competitions. Take a look.

What is the essence of the victory of an athlete? Someone will say that in hard training coupled with natural data, but still the root is deeper - in their choice to focus on one particular sport that suits them better and improve in it.

Only long and technically correct training in one direction can give the desired result. But each of today's sports stars, having, in principle, a strong body and certain talents, could run from a sprint to a jump, from a jump to a marathon, from a marathon to all-around, calling it searching for oneself. Decide on the direction as early as possible - the most important decision in sports, and everyone knows about it, which is interesting, but in life it is also the most important decision, however, far fewer people take this into account.

To get what you want, you need to choose a single vector and move in its direction, constantly improving for a long time.

Hence the logical question: do you know what you want from your life? In all areas?

I didn’t know for a long time. Rather, she misinterpreted her desires. For example, I sincerely wanted to live by the sea. And only after 2 years spent tightly by the sea, I realized that in fact I want to regularly go to the sea, and to the mountains, and to forests, and to snow, that is, travel a lot around the world, and only in breaks between something more significant and creative, for example, the development of your project, and living by the sea is not necessary. The big city answers a much larger number of my questions than an island isolated from the world. In my personal life, too, there were dreams in the style of “maybe I will become a wonderful mistress and guardian of the hearth and will not do anything”, which pretty much made my own universe laugh with the corresponding lessons.

For every talent we will be asked.

But every time, even when the next “want” turned out to be more of my fantasy about a beautiful future, rather than an adult decision, I continued to move forward. I wanted to live by the sea - I went there to live. I wanted a free schedule - I found a way to work as a freelancer. I understood that I need to return to Moscow, - I moved. I wanted an author's project - and here it is in front of you. It was this movement, and not reflection (!), That gave the skill to separate the grains of the true aspirations of the soul from the chaff of idle amusements that lead nowhere. At some point, the real goals began to take on an increasingly distinct form, leaving behind all the husks imposed.

This is an illustration of my favorite example with a long climb to the mountains - at first you don’t even see the summit, but as you approach, with the next observation deck, your view increases and at some point - the goal becomes quite distinguishable. But if you do not get up from the couch and do not begin this path of conscious movement along the edges of your “I want” and “I can,” then don’t ask to the top.

Some tips for understanding your true desires and gaining inspirational goals

0. Tip number "zero" - start a conscious movement, to begin with any immediate desire. It is necessary to start moving uphill in order to further discuss where exactly in all this splendor is my road. If you plan to start and do something only when you find your Way or destination, you simply do not go beyond the threshold of your home. This is called "sofa searches for yourself," and it's funny.

1. Pay attention to your own desires.

The presence of a large number of desires and ideas is a sign of high energy. Do not dismiss your aspirations. And do not listen to those who say that desire is bad. Desires encourage us to move forward, grow and overcome ourselves, or rather, our own ideas about ourselves. Desires are the catalysts for vital energy. Another question is that when the potential remains unrealized, it begins to crush. That is why desires in all senses are useful to fulfill.

The difference between a true dream or “public”, that is, imposed, is most often realized only in practice, and not in the mind. Get ready for trial and error, especially if they grew up in a strongly “blinkered” environment, but this stage is also very productive.

Most often, letters come to me in the style of "how to make things change, but not make a mistake." That’s the essence of the matter. Yes, you may be mistaken, but even a mistake with a sincere intention to change for the better and realize your potential to the maximum will benefit, because it will remove the next layer of blinker from the eyes that you can never see if you do not try.

A loser is one who, for fear of failure, has not even tried.

It was the mistakes that brought me to that very observation deck, where I was able to clearly see what I want: who to be, what to have, where to go. A bonus is an understanding of what she no longer intends to endure.

2. Find the junction between desires and abilities

The single vector that was discussed is very often at the junction of “I want” and “I can.” That is, these are not just your current abilities, but multiplied by great desires. What you have inclinations and talents for, but in the context of a big dream. This is a conscious development of their abilities into mastery, which allows you to realize the most daring desires. As soon as you find this joint - give it priority. Nothing makes a person internally holistic and calm than a clear understanding of where he is going.

3. The biggest goal should always be in common with the moment now

The goal differs from fantasy only in the presence of real steps right now in the chosen direction. In all other cases, if you want, but do not, it is nothing more than a childhood dream that is unlikely to come true.

To get somewhere, you need to know the destination. This is primary. And the sooner you decide on it, the clearer it becomes everything that happens around. I wish you to recognize it and choose from all the variety.

The way we spend one day is the way we spend our whole lives.

There are thoughts that make you think. Tal Ben Shahar’s book is a treasure from this point of view: a collection of parables, wise thoughts and cases for every day. It is about learning how to hear your heart and turn on your head. Here are some interesting passages about choosing.

Come to terms with
  who do you think you are
  or
  Become the one
  who do you want to be

Each of us sees in ourselves two images: I-real and I-ideal - the image of the person we would like to be. The self-concept, as this concept is designated in psychology, affects our thoughts, ideas about ourselves and the world, actions and, ultimately, how we live our lives. And yet, despite the enormous influence of the image of the Self, it can still be changed.

A person is able to create new settings, more useful and correct, which over time will replace the old ones.

Tal Ben Shahar wrote a list of eight statements that became his guide on the path to a better life, and reread it every morning, trying to feel what kind of person he would be if he corresponded to these statements. And, of course, makes efforts in order to meet his ideal.

Interestingly, negative attitudes do not disappear at all. Not at all. However, over time, if you work hard and persistently with alternative installations, they lose their significance and their unlimited power - and we give in to them much less.

Be harsh
  in relation to yourself
  or
  Treat yourself
  with kindness and generosity

We all heard this rule: do not do to another what you would not want for yourself. Not everyone noticed that we a priori treat ourselves well, although in reality this is not always the case. Rather, it is almost always wrong: we find what to blame ourselves for and what to blame ourselves for. We are often far less lenient and less generous towards ourselves than towards others. Why do we treat ourselves worse than other people?

If you think about it, we don’t punish friends every time they find themselves in something not as good as we would like. But we are not so strict with our children when they make a mistake — on the contrary, we try to console and support them.

In fact, we are quite capable of treating ourselves with the same sympathy. Once in India, the conference "Mind and Life" was held, which brought together Western neuroscientists, as well as famous Buddhist scientists and practitioners, including the Dalai Lama himself. One of the conversations revolved around the theme of compassion.

Tibetans were very surprised to learn that in the West the concept of compassion applies only to other people - that is, it is an altruistic emotion. The Dalai Lama noted that the Tibetan word “forearm,” meaning “compassion” or “caring,” can refer not only to others, but also to oneself. Self-love and love for people are inseparable, they are two sides of the same coin.

The time has come to restore what has been lost - to restore the self-evident, natural right of a person to love himself. Can you? ..

Run on the last
  gasp
  or
  Fill tanks in time

Our life is a series of devastation and replenishment of energy reserves. For example, we use the energy resources of the body all day, and then restore them during sleep. Or we spend calories, and then we eat to make up for the resulting deficiency. The same cycle of devastation – replenishment can be traced in our emotional and spiritual life.

Some things help us relax and energize our batteries. There are lots of good options - to meet friends, listen to your favorite songs or draw, go on vacation. But there are cases and situations that deplete our energy - reduce our reserves. For example, stress, anger or work without breaks and rest.

There is such a thing as a niche for energy recovery. What this niche will be is up to us.

An open, extrovert person helps to go to a party and make a couple (dozens) of new acquaintances. The introvert wants to stay in silence and read a book. Whatever it is, it is important to reboot. And if we do not understand in time to replenish energy reserves, this will affect the physical level - in the form of somatic disorders.

What renews your energy? What does your recovery niche consist of? Refuel tanks, revive, upgrade, replenish supplies!

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Today I will speak heart to heart with you. My next post, in which I will look into the very depths of our souls with you. I often ask myself this question - what exactly do you want? And I try to find an answer to it. I will talk about this in this post.

Good day, my dears.

"What is it that you want?"

Did you ask yourself such a question? ... or you could even say otherwise: “How often do you ask yourself this?”

Very often, the answer to such a seemingly simple question literally puts into a stupor many people with whom I communicate and maybe ask this question.

Let’s talk about this in more detail with you in this article and I will express my thoughts out loud here.

So - why does the simple question “What do you want?” Cause a slight grin, and often a simple surprise?

People stopped dreaming. Or should this statement be written with a question at the end of the sentence? Perhaps this is so. Personally, when, after several years of my studies at the military school, I went to work for an “uncle,” I did not stop doing it.

Honestly, this probably led me to the fact that when I was still, I, for one reason I knew, already thought that I would become an entrepreneur, and would not go to work.

Now it makes me smile, because what seemed to me a dream then is now my reality.

When I ask this question to those people with whom I communicate, to my friends, very often I hear a short story about the fact that right now they have everything " not as we would like and what is possible in the future"They will begin to think and do everything that will ultimately lead them to their dream or just conceived ideas.

So passes a month, a year, a life ...

There is another.

To the same completely question, they will most likely answer like this: “Eh, I would have used to ... I was younger, I lived in another city ...” And so on, as they say, according to the list. A clinical case, I would say. Full already disbelief in one's own strengths and one's dream.

Those. both here and there, I can still hear some kind of sound and positive thought about what these or other people really want, but now they don’t want to believe in it.

Why it happens?

To answer with one sentence here, in the context of this article, most likely, it will not work. And to be honest, I don't want to. Why tinker with what really doesn’t give me pleasure. Each has its own "cockroaches" in the head.

I want to raise a slightly different thought with this article.

Do not betray your dream, follow it, focus only on it. Perhaps all of the above here sounds like the banal chatter of the next blogger - theorist, perhaps, but I can say one thing: you are worthy of your dream, regardless of how absurd it seems to you at the moment.

And therefore, to the question “What do I want”, I always firmly and clearly answer what I really want and long for at the moment, and you know ....

COMES TRUE !!!

It’s not in vain that they say: “We all come from childhood”! So be in it now!

Then the door handle twitched and someone knocked persistently. The guys looked at each other. Brunet deftly got out of Taken's embrace, straightened his jacket, went to the door and clicked the lock.
  “Sorry, sir,” the guy smiled kindly. “The door itself slammed shut, apparently the lock was not working.
“I will say that they find the master and fix it,” a middle-aged man with a small bald spot stood at the door.
  After that, the man went inside, and the brunette left the toilet, finally winking at Tae slyly.
  Taken quickly recovered and hastened to leave this place as well. When he returned to the hall, the presentation was already over, and everyone was just talking. Tae decided to find Song NaNun, and it was better, in his opinion, to simply get out of here. Soon he found in the crowd his girlfriend, who was talking with a girlfriend.
  -Oh, tahen. Where did you go during the presentation? - NaN asked
  “Yes, it was necessary to move away,” Te smiled at the girl and grabbed her by the waist.
  At this moment, Mr. Kim approached them with a man, most likely this is his next partner, who, of course, is very important and they need to get to know each other.
  “Tahen, good that you're still here.” I wanted to introduce you to Mr. Chung. Now he is my partner, tomorrow we sign the last contract
  - Hello, Mr. Jung. Glad to meet you, - Te pretended to be a very diligent guy.
  “Hello, Thehen,” the man smiled slightly. After that, Te wanted to fall through the ground, or not be born at all, because the same brunette came up to them, and even not one, but accompanied by some girl, apparently his  the girls. - Oh, meet, this is my son.
  “Jungkook,” the guy held out his hand for a welcoming handshake.
  “Taehen,” Tae held out his hand in response.
  “Taehen, can you imagine your companion?” Said Mr. Chung.
  -Oh sure. This is Song NaN, - the girl smiled sweetly.
  “Jungkook, now it's your turn,” this time Taehen’s father took the initiative.
  “Yes, this is my girlfriend, Yoon BoMi,” and she smiled as sweetly as NaNun. To be honest, she really looked very nice and made a good impression. But Tae paid all his attention to Jungkook, now he knew his name. Throughout the conversation he did not take his eyes off him.
  “I hope you make friends,” said Tehen's dad.
  -Oh, of course, Mr. Kim. I have no doubt, - having said this, Jungkook looked at Te point-blank, there was a slight smile on his lips, but she seemed to Tekhen some kind of catty.
  After that, Mr. Kim and Mr. Chung left, leaving the young people alone.
  After a few minutes of conversation, the girls found common themes and separated a little from their guys. Tahen all this time staged their brains. Why did he get involved in all this? What did that even come to him? He almost fucked some guy in the toilet. He’s not gay, like. Or what?
“What are you thinking about?” Taekhega snatched Chonguk's voice out of his thoughts.
  “It doesn't matter,” Te said shortly.
  “Have you really thought about what was in the toilet?” Jung arched one eyebrow. Tae didn't even know what to say. So now his ability to translate topics really helped him.
  “Our fathers became partners, right?” Jungkook nodded in agreement. “Which means we'll see each other often.” They will want to make us friends anyway.
  - Well, in principle, I do not even mind. “You are different from all of them,” Hook looked around the people in the room. “Therefore, I do not mind getting to know you better.”
  - So in the toilet it was an attempt to meet closer? -said Taehen with a grin.
  “Well, what if so?” Are you against - Jungkook stared at Tae.
  “Actually, no,” Taehen honestly admitted. - You, too, are different from all these, I like it. I did not hope to find such people here.
  “Then ... Maybe we’ll run away from here?” Hook said conspiratorially.
  “But what about them?” Te glanced at their beautiful companions.
  “I think they’re not very upset,” after that Jungkook, taking Taehen by the wrist, headed for the exit from the hall.

* a few hours later *
  The guys sat on the roof of the building where the event was taking place and enjoyed the beautiful view of the night Seoul, drinking a bottle of viskar for two.
  “You never answered,” said Jungkook, drinking from the bottle and handing it to Tekhen.
  “What didn’t I answer?” The guy asked, taking the bottle.
  - You did not answer: what do you want?
  “I think you already understood what I wanted,” Taehen moved closer to the guy.
  - Yes? So you just wanted to fuck me in the toilet? ”Guk said in an amusedly offended tone, turning to face TeTe.
  - Not. I just wanted you, ”Taehen said this almost to the guy’s lips.
  “Is this any different?” The guy asked, arching an eyebrow and not taking his eyes off the guy’s lips.
  - Of course. I want you. I want you to be always there, - after that, Te covered his lips with the guy.

~ the end ~
Thanks for reading❤️