Oster bad advice children drink water. Oster Grigory Bentsionovich

Grigory Oster

HARMFUL TIPS 1, 2, 3, 4

Bad advice 1

Book for naughty children and their parents

Recently, scientists have discovered that there are naughty children in the world who do everything the other way around. They are given useful advice: “Wash yourself in the morning” - they take and do not wash. They say: "Greet each other" - they immediately begin not to say hello. Scientists have come up with the idea that such children should not be given useful, but harmful advice. They will do the opposite, and it will turn out just right.

This book is for naughty children.

Lost child

Gotta remember that his

Take home as soon as

He will call his address.

We must be smarter

Say: "I live

Near the palm tree with a monkey

On the distant islands. "

Lost baby

If he’s not a fool,

Do not miss the right case

To visit different countries.

Hands Never Nowhere

Do not touch anything.

Don't get involved in anything

And don't go anywhere.

Stand aside silently,

Be humble in the corner

And stand still, not moving,

To his old age.

Who did not jump out of the window

Together with my mother’s umbrella

That dashing skydiver

Not yet considered.

Do not fly him like a bird

Over the excited crowd

Do not lie to him in the hospital

With a bandaged leg.

If the whole family swim

You went to the river

Don't bother dad with mom

Sunbathing on the beach.

Don't scream

Give adults a break.

Without pestering anyone

Try to drown.

There is no nicer occupation

Than pick your nose.

Everyone is terribly interested

What is hidden inside.

And who is disgusted to watch,

That let and does not look.

We don’t climb into his nose,

Let him not molest.

If mom caught you

For your favorite work,

For example, for drawing

In the hallway on the wallpaper

Explain to her that this is -

Your surprise for the eighth of March.

The picture is called:

"Cute mommy portrait."

Do not take someone else's if

Strangers are looking at you.

Let them close their eyes

Or come out for an hour.

And what to be afraid of!

They will not say about their own.

Let them look. Grab someone else's

And drag him to yours.

Never silly questions

Don’t ask yourself

But not even stupid

You will find the answer to them.

If stupid questions

Appeared in my head

Ask them immediately to adults.

Let their brains crack.

Visit more often

Theatrical buffet.

There are cream cakes

With bubbles of water.

Like firewood on plates

Chocolates are

And through the tube you can

Drink a milkshake.

Do not ask for tickets

To the balcony and to the ground

May they give you tickets

At the theater buffet.

Leaving the theater

Take it with you

Under a trembling heart

In the stomach, a sandwich.

Born a girl - be patient

Running boards and tremors.

And turn braids to everyone

Who does not mind to pull them.

But sometime later

Show the cookie to them

And you say: “Figures, for you

I won’t get married! ”

If you are together with friends

Have fun in the yard

And in the morning they put it on you

Your new coat

That is not worth crawling in puddles

And ride on the ground

And climb the fences

Hanging on the nails.

So as not to spoil and not dirty

Your new coat

Need to make it old.

This is done like this:

Climb right into the puddle

Ride the earth

And a little bit on the fence

Hang on the nails.

Very old

Your new coat

Now you can safely

Have fun in the yard.

You can safely crawl in puddles

And ride on the ground

And climb the fences

Hanging on the nails.

If you are down the hall

Ride a bike

And to meet you from the bathroom

Dad went out for a walk

Do not turn into the kitchen,

In the kitchen - a solid fridge.

Brake better on dad.

Dad is soft. He will forgive.

If you’ve been rallied forever,

Illuminated and lead

Don't try to dodge

From movement to triumph.

All the same, labor will raise

And inspire the feat

You are great and mighty

TIPS FOR DISAPPOINTED CHILDREN.

Recently, scientists have discovered that there are naughty children in the world who do everything the other way around. They are given useful advice: "Wash in the morning" - they take and do not wash. They say: "Greet each other" - they immediately begin not to say hello. Scientists have come up with the idea that such children should not be given useful, but harmful advice. They will do the opposite, and it will turn out just right.

Who did not jump out of the window
Together with my mother’s umbrella
That dashing skydiver
Not yet considered.
Do not fly him like a bird
Over the excited crowd
Do not lie to him in the hospital
With a bandaged leg.

If the whole family swim
You went to the river
Don't bother dad with mom
Sunbathing on the beach.
Don't scream
Give adults a break.
Without pestering anyone
Try to drown.

If a birthday friend
  I invited you to my place
  You leave a gift at home -
  Useful for yourself.
  Try to sit next to the cake.
  Do not enter into conversations.
  You during a conversation
  You’ll eat half the amount of sweets.
  Choose smaller pieces
  To swallow faster.
  Don't grab the salad with your hands
  Scoop more with a spoon.
  If they give nuts,
  Rash them carefully in your pocket,
  But don’t hide the jam there -
  It will be difficult to take out.

Never silly questions
Don’t ask yourself
And not even stupid
You will find the answer to them.
If stupid questions
Appeared in my head
Ask them immediately to adults.
Let their brains crack.

Born a girl - be patient
Running boards and tremors.
And turn braids to everyone
Whoever pulls them away.
But sometime later
Show the cookie to them
And say: "Figures, for you
I won’t get married! "

If you are together with friends
Have fun in the yard
And in the morning they put it on you
Your new coat
That is not worth crawling in puddles
And ride on the ground
And climb the fences
Hanging on the nails.
So as not to spoil and not dirty
  Your new coat
Need to make it old.
This is done like this:
Climb right into the puddle
Ride the earth
And a little bit on the fence
Hang on the nails.
Very old
Your new coat
Now you can safely
Have fun in the yard.
You can safely crawl in puddles
And ride on the ground
And climb the fences
Hanging on the nails.

If you are down the hall
Ride a bike
And to meet you from the bathroom
Dad went out for a walk
Do not turn into the kitchen,
In the kitchen there is a solid fridge.
Brake better on dad.
Dad is soft. He will forgive.

The main thing in your life
Any trifle can become.
You just have to firmly believe
What is more important is not the case.
And then it won’t hurt
You are neither cold nor hot
Choking with delight
Do nonsense.

Starting a fight with dad
Starting a fight with mom
Try to surrender to mom, -
Dad does not take prisoners.
By the way, find out from mom
Did she forget
Prisoners beat on the pope with a belt
Forbids the Red Cross.

If you are the whole world of violence
Gonna ruin
And at the same time you dream of becoming
To everyone, being nothing
Feel free to follow us
On the paved road
We are this way for you
We can even yield.

If you came to friends
Do not greet anyone.
Words: please, thank you
Do not tell anybody.
Turn away and ask questions
Don't answer anyone.
And then no one will say
About you, that you are a talker.

If something happened,
And no one is to blame
Don't go there otherwise
You will be to blame.
Hide somewhere on the sidelines.
And then go home.
And about the fact that I saw it,
Do not tell anybody.

If you didn’t buy you a cake
And in the cinema they didn’t take with them in the evening,
Need to be offended by parents,
And leave without a hat on a cold night.
But not just
Wander the streets
And in the deep dark
Forest set off.
There you will immediately have a wolf
Hungry to meet
And of course, fast
He eats you.
Then dad and mom will recognize
They scream, cry and run.
And rush to buy a cake
And to the movies with you
They will take you in the evening.

There is a sure way to please adults:
In the morning, start yelling and littering
Eavesdrop, whimper, rush around the house
Lie down and beg for gifts from everyone.
Rude, cunning, teasing and lying,
And in the evening, suddenly stop for an hour, -
And immediately, with a smile touched by stroking,
All adults will pat you on the head
And they say that you are a wonderful boy
And there is no child nicer than you.

If you came to the Christmas tree,
Demand your gift right away
Yes, look no candy
Did not heal Santa Claus.
And don't think lightly
Bring home the leftovers.
How dad and mom will ride
Half will be taken away.

If punishment awaits you
For bad behavior
For example, in the bathroom
You bathed your cat,
Not asking permission
Neither the cat nor the mother
I can offer you a way
How to escape from punishment.
Knock your head on the floor
Hit your chest with your hands
And cry, and shout: "Ah, why did I torment a cat !?
I am worthy of a terrible punishment!
My shame will only atone for death! "
In less than half a minute
Like sobbing with you
They will forgive you and, to console you,
Run for a sweet cake.
And then calmly cat
You lead the tail into the bath
After all, to snail a cat
Will never be able to.

For example, in your pocket
It turned out to be a handful of sweets,
And to meet you
Your faithful friends.
Don't be scared and don't hide
Do not rush to run away
Don't shove all the candy
Together with candy wrappers in the mouth.
Approach them calmly,
Saying no extra words
Quickly taking it out of my pocket
Give them ... a palm.
Shake their hands tightly
Say goodbye slowly
And turning around the first corner
Rush home fast.
To eat sweets at home,
Crawl under the bed
Because there, of course,
You will not meet anyone.

Take thick cherry juice
  And a white mother’s cloak.
  Gently pour the juice on the cloak -
  Get a stain.
  Now that there is no spot
  On my mother’s cloak
  The cloak must be tucked whole
  In thick cherry juice.

Take a cherry mom's cloak
  And a mug of milk.
  Pour the milk neatly -
  A spot will appear.
  Now that there is no spot
  On my mother’s cloak
  The cloak must be tucked whole
  In a pan with milk.

Take thick cherry juice
  And a white mother’s cloak.
  Lei carefully ...

If you broke a window,
Do not rush to admit.
Wait, it won’t begin
Suddenly a civil war.
The artillery will strike
Glasses will fly everywhere
And no one will scold
For a broken window.

Never wash your hands
Neck, ears and face.
This is a stupid occupation.
It does not lead to anything.
Hands get dirty again
Neck, ears and face
So why waste your energy
Time to waste.
It’s useless to cut your hair too
There is no point.
To old age by itself
Bald head.

Never allow
Put the thermometer on yourself,
And do not swallow the tablets
And do not eat powders.
Let my stomach and teeth hurt
Throat, ears, head,
Don’t drink any medicine,
And do not listen to the doctor.
The heart will stop beating
But for sure
No mustard plaster
And they won’t make an injection.
If you went to the hospital
And you don’t want to wallow there,
Wait for your ward
The most important doctor will come.
Bite him - and right away
Your treatment will end
That evening from the hospital
They will take you home.

If mom is in the store
You bought only a ball
And doesn’t want the rest,
Everything that sees is to buy,
Stand straight, heels together
Arms apart,
Open your mouth wider
And shout the letter "A"!
And when, dropping the bags,
With a cry: "Citizens! Anxiety!"
Buyers rush
With sellers at the head,
To you the director of the store
Creeps and tells mom: "Take everything for free,
Let him just shut up. "

When you mother
Leads to the dentists
Do not expect mercy from her
No vain tears.
Shut up like a captured partisan
And grit your teeth like that
So that I could not unclench them
A crowd of dentists.

If you stayed home
One without parents
I can offer you
Interesting game
Under the name "Brave Cook"
Or Brave Culinary.
The essence of the cooking game
All kinds of delicious dishes.
I suggest for a start
Here is a simple recipe:
Need Daddy's Shoes
Pour mom's perfume
And then these shoes
Lubricate with shaving cream,
And watering them with fish oil
With black mascara in half
Toss in the soup that mom
Cooked in the morning.
And cook with the lid closed
Exactly seventy minutes.
You’ll find out what
When the adults come.

To drive out of the apartment
Different flies and mosquitoes,
Gotta pull the curtain
And twist over your head.
Fly from the walls of the picture
From the windowsill - flowers.
A tumbling television
The chandelier will crash into the floor.
And, escaping from the roar,
Mosquitoes fly away
A scared flies
Flock rush south.

If you decide in the morning
To behave,
Feel free to behave yourself in the closet
And dive into the darkness.
There’s neither mom nor dad,
Only daddy's pants.
No one there will shout loudly:
"Stop! Do not dare! Do not touch!"
It will be much easier there,
Without disturbing anyone
All day decently yourself
And honestly lead.

If to dad or to mom
  The adult aunt has come
  And leads some important
  And a serious conversation,
  Need behind imperceptibly
  Sneak up to her, and then
  Shout out loud in your ear:
  - Wait! Give up! Hands up!
  And when aunt from the chair
  With a fright fall
  And spill on your dress
  Tea, compote or jelly,
  That is probably very loud
  Will mom laugh
  And proud of her baby
  Dad will shake your hand.
  Dad will take you by the shoulder
  And lead somewhere.
  It’s probably a very long time
  Dad will praise you.

If your name is lunch,
  Proudly hide under the sofa
  And lie there quietly
  So as not to immediately find you.
  And when from under the sofa
  They’ll drag by the legs,
  Get out and bite
  Do not give up without a fight.
  If you still get
  And they’ll put you at the table
  Knock over the cup
  Pour soup onto the floor.
  Grip your mouth with your hands
  Fall from the chair down.
  And throw the patties up
  Let them stick to the ceiling.
  In a month, people will say
  Regards about you:
  - He looks thin and frail,
  But the character is solid.

Often mom promises
  Doesn't execute
  But don't be upset
  Offended and grumble.
  If you have to perform
  Mom all that she promised
  I’m afraid of a living place
  You will not find on the pope.

If you don’t know arithmetic,
  Parents can deceive you.
  They will say: “Eat, son, four spoons,” -
  And slip eight and a half.
  This is the reason why many
  Strong, well-fed boys
  Since childhood, they hate arithmetic.

If mom doesn’t immediately
  Will know you
  Look at whom
  You look like today
  And remember him
  If you meet in the forest
  Not even close
  To approach such.

If adults are sitting at the table
  And eat strawberry jam with cake
  And they suggested you go to sleep
  And no one stood up for you,
  Say goodbye like in the yard
  You found a shabby dead cat.
  Yes, this cat will not save you from sleep,
  But a little spoil all of their appetite.

Be polite with your friends' moms.
  Hello when you come in.
  Don't say angry words.
Don’t argue over trifles.
  Kicking and stomping feet
  It’s impossible for foreign moms,
  After all, each of us has
  For this its own.

If mom took you to work,
  So you don’t stay alone in the apartment,
  Try to act so that she
  In parting, the chief said:
  “I am like children
  I have never seen.
  You certainly can’t
  Go to work.
  To you, with a child like that
  I have to sit at home
  And hold his hands
  Legs bound. ”

From mom you can smoke
  Wean literally in a day,
  If in the morning cigarettes
  Dip in a night pot.

If grandma is tired
  And sat down to rest
  Loudly ring over her
  A pair of pan covers.
  Dozing old woman
  You need to cheer up on time -
  Wake up at once in the grandmother
  A lot of new fresh strength.

If you are afraid at night
  Stay in the dark
  Take matches with you
  Before you go to sleep.
  Set the pillow on fire
  Blanket, sheet -
  And you won’t be scared:
  It will become light in the room.

If in old age is deep
  Will you ever die
  And you will appear before God
  Tell him about
  How mom dragged you
  Early in the morning in kindergarten ...
  And you for these torments
  All your sins will be forgiven.

Take your walks
  Go to another area
  Because if at home
  You will do them
  Shocked neighbors
  They can take an example from you
  And then in your quarter
  It will be impossible to live.

If a girl a note
  You send in "Russian language"
  And having missed, you get
  Suddenly the teacher’s forehead,
  They can make you
  Right in the classroom, by the blackboard,
  Show everyone your way
  "Chasing" through Y.

If I fell in love
  Beware of unhappy love.
  Why fall in love
  Without fail in one?
  Better fall in love with a few -
  Immediately more likely
  What one of them will appreciate
  Your faithful heart.

If asked in the lesson,
  Where's the homework
  Answer that is wild
  And into the dense forest gone.

Do not wear a coat and jacket,
  Don’t put on socks
  Run out into the cold and slush
  From home light.
  Walk without a hat but underpants
  Always take with you
  So that if you suddenly get cold, you could
  You blow your nose in them.

Before you take the bus
  Bandage your foot every time
  And then the old woman's place
  Do not have to concede.

If with dirty nails
  Two weeks to walk around
  That under every dirty fingernail
  Creepy poison will start.
  And when during the fight
  Scratch the enemy
  Silently he is in terrible torment
  In your eyes will die.

For example, you were stripped
  And they want to lather,
  Wait, don't break free
  Do not try to slip away.
  Substitute belly and legs
  Let soap to the ears.
  The more soapy you become
  The sooner you slip away.

More often in the evening for dinner
Eat juicy watermelons
  Washing them down with effervescent
  Sparkling water
  And then you constantly
  Well, almost every night
  It will be a pleasant dream
  About the babbling brook.

If dad's shirt
  You decided to stroke
  And a little shirt
  You got burned
  Possible with scissors
  From an unnecessary shirt
  Cook for dad
  Handkerchiefs.

If I was going to throw
  Something out of my head
  Look at first
  Near small children.

If your ears
  The neighbors brought home
  To show mom
  Why did you throw windows at them,
  Say it's all
  Dropped out of their apartment
  And throwing you wanted
  Honestly return the loss to them.

Can a little brother
  Beat the brain with a scoop
  But then don't be surprised
  That he won’t understand you
  If in fifteen years
  Or say twenty years
  Kindly ask your brother
  Lend you a lemon.

If your flaws
  They are striking everyone
  So you have not learned
  To behave.
  To you about your behavior
  It's time to think about it.
  Rush everyone's eyes
  And you can’t scratch.
  No, raised child
  Not striking.
  He behaves more modestly -
  Pinch and run away.

Departing from friends
  Do not forget to say goodbye ...
  If they don’t forgive me,
  You can shrug.
  Well, think a sofa
  They poured ketchup at them,
  You’re not ketchup on the couch -
  They poured on their plate.
  Well, a little bit on the carpet
  Eggplant trampled
  Is the carpet really
  They are dearer to man?
  A jam on the wall
  You didn’t draw pictures,
  They are your memory
  Wrote only a name.
  Here are the salads from the table
  You really pushed.
  But it’s not from evil,
  And by accident - with the elbows.
  Tv break them
  You certainly didn’t want
  He had them so and so
  Not particularly good.
  And in the mirror with the ball
  You never hit
  With a long crack it
  It was from the very beginning.
  And the marks on the ceiling
  You have not left anywhere
  This is you boot
  Threw up a little bit.
  And a computer mouse
  You didn’t give a kitten,
  Just gave a play
  Briefly and with a return.
  And from the balcony the telephone
  They didn’t throw at passers-by.
  He fell into the street
  Because it was heavy.
  And nobody kicked the cake
  Not going to step
  You just needed to
  Remove the balloon from the chandelier.
  Who thought she was
  So loosely attached ...
  It was necessary to strengthen
  So she wouldn’t fall
  On firefighters when those
  Suddenly they ran through the window,
  To put out the hanger
  Near the door in the hallway.
  There is a coat hanger
  You didn't set anyone on fire
  Just like that, for beauty,
  Candles inserted into pockets.
  In the toilet with a hammer
  You did not break the tank.
  It was not a hammer,
  A bottle with something blue.
She is very slippery
  For some reason, it turned out.
  That's why they have a toilet bowl and split.
  And to such a touchy
  And vindictive acquaintances
  You yourself never
  Don't go on a visit anymore.

Grigory Oster
Poems for children

The name of this poet is known to all from small to large, because he is the author of harmful advice, which more than one generation of children makes fun of.

If you stayed home
alone without parents
Need Daddy's Shoes
pour mom's perfume
Toss in the soup that mom
cooked in the morning
And cook with the lid closed
exactly 70 minutes.
What happens - you will find out
when the adults come.

It was this first of his bad advice, first published in the Kolobok magazine, and then sounded on the radio, that literally split society into two camps. Some said that children would perceive Oster’s poems as a direct guide to action, that children would begin to act more hooligan and completely stop listening to adults. Others, on the contrary, advocated a similar “pedagogy from the contrary”, saying that children are quite capable of independently seeing irony in these verses. I had to arrange a kind of survey, which showed that the children, although they enjoy listening to Oster’s poems, are not in a hurry to follow the advice given to them.

Gregory Oster treats children with respect and this is reflected in his children's poems. They are fervent, full of good humor and warmth. The characters of his children's poems are copied from his own offspring, from neighboring boys and girls. Oster perfectly understands child psychology. He leaves the children the right to understand for themselves what is good and what is bad. In his poems, he made the right bet on education from the contrary.

If the whole family swim
You went to the river
Don't bother dad with mom
Sunbathing on the shore
Don't scream -
Give adults a break.
Without pestering anyone
Try to drown.

Well, who will take this rhyme seriously? All his poems are just the same hooligan. Perhaps due to the simple, understandable language for children and characters in which they easily recognize themselves, his poems are always perceived by the children's audience with a bang. Kids quickly memorize uncomplicated lines, so if you start reading poetry by Grigory Oster to your baby, get ready for the fact that he will soon tell you by heart. By the way, Oster tried to write his poems in such a way that they were interesting to both children and adults: “I write in such a way that both of them are interesting, and the book turns out like a layer cake - in it some places are interesting for children and others for adults. Sometimes children and adults laugh in completely different places, look at each other in surprise and do not understand what a creature of a different age laughs at. ”

The name of Gregory Oster is on a par with such well-known children's poets as Uspensky, Marshak. His "Bad Advice" has been reprinted in huge numbers of times. Many of his books have already become real classics. Oster himself admits that he writes for children who are gradually becoming adults. They grow up on his books too.

HARMFUL TIPS

Book for naughty children and their parents
FOR REASONABLE CHILDREN READING IS FORBIDDEN!

Recently, scientists have discovered that there are naughty children in the world who do everything the other way around. They are given useful advice: “Wash yourself in the morning” - they take and do not wash. They say: "Greet each other" - they immediately begin not to say hello. Scientists have come up with the idea that such children should not be given useful, but harmful advice. They will do the opposite, and it will turn out just right.

THIS BOOK FOR UNLAWFUL CHILDREN

Lost child
  Gotta remember that his
  Take home as soon as
  He will call his address.
  We must be smarter
  Say: "I live
  Near the palm tree with a monkey
  On the distant islands. "
  Lost baby
  If he’s not a fool,
  Do not miss the right case
  To visit different countries.
* * *
  Hands Never Nowhere
  Do not touch anything.
  Don't get involved in anything
  And don't go anywhere.
  Stand aside silently,
  Be humble in the corner
  And stand still, not moving,
  To his old age.
* * *
  Who did not jump out of the window
  Together with my mother’s umbrella
  That dashing skydiver
  Not yet considered.
  Do not fly him like a bird
  Over the excited crowd
  Do not lie to him in the hospital
  With a bandaged leg.
* * *
  If the whole family swim
  You went to the river
  Don't bother dad with mom
  Sunbathing on the beach.
  Don't scream
  Give adults a break.
  Not bothering anyone
  Try to drown.
* * *
  There is no nicer occupation
  What to dig into the nose.
  Everyone is terribly interested
  What is hidden inside.
  And who is disgusted to watch,
  That let and does not look.
  We don’t climb into his nose,
  Let him not bother.
* * *
  If mom caught you
  For your favorite work,
  For example, for drawing
  In the hallway on the wallpaper
  Explain to her that this is -
  Your surprise for the eighth of March.
  The picture is called:
  "Cute mommy portrait."
* * *
  Do not take someone else's if
  Strangers are looking at you.
  Let them close their eyes
  Or come out for an hour.
  And what to be afraid of!
  They will not say about their own.
  Let them look.
  Grab someone else's
  And drag him to yours.
* * *
  Never silly questions
  Don’t ask yourself
  And not even stupid
  You will find the answer to them.
  If stupid questions
  Appeared in my head
  Ask them immediately to adults.
  Let their brains crack.
* * *
Visit more often
  Theatrical buffet.
  There are cream cakes
  With bubbles of water.
  Like firewood on plates
  Chocolates are
  And through the tube you can
  Drink a milkshake.
  Do not ask for tickets
  To the balcony and to the ground
  May they give you tickets
  At the theater buffet.
  Leaving the theater
  Take it with you
  Under a trembling heart
  In the stomach a sandwich.
* * *
  Born a girl - be patient
  Running boards and tremors.
  And turn braids to everyone
  Whoever pulls them away.
  But sometime later
  Show the cookie to them
  And say: "Figures, for you
  I won’t get married! "
* * *
  If you are together with friends
  Have fun in the yard
  And in the morning they put it on you
  Your new coat
  That is not worth crawling in puddles
  And ride on the ground
  And climb the fences
  Hanging on the nails.
  So as not to spoil and not dirty
  Your new coat
  Need to make it old.
  This is done like this:
  Climb right into the puddle
  Ride the earth
  And a little bit on the fence
  Hang on the nails.
  Very old
  Your new coat
  Now you can safely
  Have fun in the yard.
  You can safely crawl in puddles
  And ride on the ground
  And climb the fences
  Hanging on the nails.
* * *
  If you are down the hall
  Ride a bike
  And to meet you from the bathroom
  Dad went out for a walk
  Do not turn into the kitchen,
  In the kitchen there is a solid fridge.
  Brake better on dad.
  Dad is soft.
  He will forgive.
* * *
  If you’ve been rallied forever,
  Illuminated and lead
  Don't try to dodge
  From movement to triumph.
  Still raise labor
  And inspire the feat
  You are great and mighty
  And our reliable stronghold.
* * *
  The main thing in your life
  Any trifle can become.
  You just have to firmly believe
  What is more important is not the case.
  And then it won’t hurt
  You are neither cold nor hot
  Choking with delight
  Do nonsense.
* * *
  Beat the frogs with sticks.
  It is very interesting.
  Take your wings to the flies
  Let them run on foot.
  Train daily
  And a happy day will come -
  You to some kingdom
  They will accept the main executioner.
* * *
  Girls must never
  Nowhere to notice.
  And do not give them a pass
  Nowhere and never.
  They need to substitute the legs,
  Scare around the corner
  So that they immediately understood:
  You don’t care about them.
  I met a girl - quickly to her
  Show the language.
  Let her not think
  That you are in love with her.
* * *
  Starting a fight with dad
  Starting a fight with mom
  Try to surrender to mom, -
  Dad does not take prisoners.
  By the way, find out from mom
  Did she forget
  Prisoners beat on the pope with a belt
  Forbids the Red Cross.
* * *
  If you are the whole world of violence
  Gonna ruin
  And at the same time you dream of becoming
  To everyone, being nothing
  Feel free to follow us
  On the paved road
  We are this way for you
  We can even yield.
* * *
  Don't settle for anything
  With no one and never
And who agrees with you, those
  Cowardly call.
  For this, you will all begin
  To love and respect.
  And everywhere will be with you
  Full of friends.
* * *
  If there are cockroaches in the kitchen
  Marching on the table
  And arrange the mouse
  There’s a training battle on the floor
  So you have to go for a while
  Stop the fight for peace
  And give up all your strength
  To the fight for cleanliness.
* * *
  If you are going to a friend
  Tell your trouble
  Take a friend’s button
  It is useless to run away
  And as a keepsake
  This button is a friend.
  Better give him a bandwagon,
  Throw on the floor, sit on top
  And then in detail
  Tell your trouble.
* * *
  If you came to friends
  Do not greet anyone.
  Words: please, thank you
  Do not tell anybody.
  Turn away and ask questions
  Don't answer anyone.
  And then no one will say
  About you, that you are a talker.
* * *
  If something happened
  And no one is to blame
  Don't go there otherwise
  You will be to blame.
  Hide somewhere on the sidelines.
  And then go home.
  And about the fact that I saw it,
  Do not tell anybody.
* * *
  If you didn’t buy you a cake
  And in the cinema they didn’t take with them in the evening,
  Need to be offended by parents,
  And leave without a hat on a cold night.
  But not just
  Wander the streets
  And in the deep dark
  Forest set off.
  There you will immediately have a wolf
  Hungry meet
  And of course, fast
  He eats you.
  Then dad and mom will recognize
  They scream, cry and run.
  And rush to buy a cake
  And in the movies with you
  They will take you in the evening.
* * *
  Look what's going on
  In every house at night.
  Turning to the wall with his nose,
  Silently adults are lying.
  They move their lips
  In hopeless darkness And eyes closed
  Heel pulled in a dream.
  Don't settle for anything
  Go to bed at night.
  Don't let anyone
  Put you to bed.
  Do you really want
  His childhood
  Spend under the covers
  On a pillow, without pants?
* * *
  There is a sure remedy
  Like adults:
  Start in the morning
  Scream and litter
  Eavesdrop, whimper
  Worn around the house
  To lie down and beg
  Gifts for everyone.
  Rude, trick,
  Tease and lie
  And by the evening suddenly
  Stop for an hour, -
  And right away, with a smile
  Touched stroking
  All adults of you
  Pat on the head
  And they say that you
  Wonderful boy
  And no baby
  More pleasant than you.
* * *
  If you came to the Christmas tree,
  Demand your gift right away
  Yes, look no candy
  Did not heal Santa Claus.
  And don't think lightly
  Bring home the leftovers.
  How dad and mom will ride
  Half will be taken away.
* * *
  If punishment awaits you
  For bad behavior
  For example, in the bathroom
  You bathed your cat,
  Not asking permission
  Neither the cat nor the mother
I can offer you a way
  How to escape from punishment.
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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* * *
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{!LANG-be40cfd7154f88a19cb4ef56e9f97328!}

{!LANG-f513f6ebef063985bf6b84f567b8d9ab!}

There is no nicer occupation
Than pick your nose.
Everyone is terribly interested
What is hidden inside.
And who is disgusted to watch,
That let and does not look.
We don’t climb into his nose,
Let him not molest.

If mom caught you
For your favorite work,
For example, for drawing
In the hallway on the wallpaper
{!LANG-a3842bcf743f3b3777e8a9a67024b191!}
{!LANG-9aa8d7d9b0231ee8ff3c34750432802e!}
The picture is called:
{!LANG-2f61d242b744139af4da6fed8d327367!}

Born a girl - be patient
Running boards and tremors.
And turn braids to everyone
Who does not mind to pull them.
But sometime later
Show the cookie to them
And say: "Figures, for you
{!LANG-170d010ee47adab6d042a80b64facc64!}

If you are together with friends
Have fun in the yard
And in the morning they put it on you
Your new coat
{!LANG-2e8cba7c028a9f66ec5a5f9007ac780a!}
And ride on the ground
And climb the fences
Hanging on the nails.
So as not to spoil and not dirty
Your new coat
Need to make it old.
This is done like this:
Climb right into the puddle
{!LANG-27d22ded25cba5380ea898f7ad720a7a!}
And a little bit on the fence
Hang on the nails.
Very old
{!LANG-d537094d55aa098823ad5992ecdf9bf5!}

Now you can safely
Have fun in the yard.
{!LANG-51d1979f1a96f597185d82b50caca9d5!}
And ride on the ground
And climb the fences
Hanging on the nails.

{!LANG-2b4f5f3bb1eb942ddd6909b934b2787e!}
{!LANG-7c6bbf006918854c68663ce1f463fe89!}
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Starting a fight with dad
Starting a fight with mom
Try to surrender to mom, -
{!LANG-583d80bb816a68c51fe17c5869a5a3fa!}
By the way, find out from mom
Did she forget
{!LANG-a32fa48839f0a89d9106d7c4414ddc08!}
Forbids the Red Cross.

If you didn’t buy you a cake
And in the cinema they didn’t take with them in the evening,
{!LANG-3367844e306652c5350d613b08244991!}
And leave without a hat on a cold night.
{!LANG-6f1e02d7832fac76b6c5ec7f664fcfa5!}
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{!LANG-737198ab725424768608bc2c7e2700a8!}
{!LANG-230bc8a2a4ef8f2364f967e3dc21edea!}
Then dad and mom will recognize
{!LANG-9555ad530e11dcfe539b349df74c991b!}
And rush to buy a cake
{!LANG-6c105ea3f39175542298526a335b2558!}

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{!LANG-81a238cd63441020d5c71f5bf2a7db02!}
{!LANG-e83f606433485eed62ccfad4287bc566!}
In the morning, start yelling and littering
{!LANG-a39f5982dad8c8c7038111024a525a16!}
Lie down and beg for gifts from everyone.
Rude, cunning, teasing and lying,
And in the evening, suddenly stop for an hour, -
{!LANG-4789bb40135478ceee5f60c2866757d0!}
All adults will pat you on the head
And they say that you are a wonderful boy
{!LANG-125296ddcbda3b89ba80e6c99285b8b8!}

{!LANG-72f715458e35a877ff2d0e0bd9f897bb!}
{!LANG-6fb2242f1147e01faf73e51721ea02e8!}
Yes, look no candy
Did not heal Santa Claus.
And don't think lightly
{!LANG-f30f7ee34de62b9215f678720caf7206!}
{!LANG-6c839b585e9b28c8d7af634fbeb48f66!}
Half will be taken away.

If you broke a window,
Do not rush to admit.
{!LANG-2f7bf4d99b024e34a33b097a34f0c3ac!}
Suddenly a civil war.

The artillery will strike
{!LANG-5aeefe83af689f3ee69d3a1f75cd6782!}
And no one will scold
For a broken window.

Never allow
Put the thermometer on yourself,
And do not swallow the tablets
And do not eat powders.
Let my stomach and teeth hurt
Throat, ears, head,
{!LANG-bf71f0981a65946216c3824dbd8e6a7d!}
And do not listen to the doctor.
The heart will stop beating
But for sure
No mustard plaster
And they won’t make an injection.

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